With the big game coming up this Saturday, I figured I should give every reader an idea of how I will watch the Super Bowl at Big Mike's (that's my nickname). Every year I add more and more to this list, but this year here is my list of rules to watch the Super Bowl at Big Mike's.
1. You must have a fire going. I always like to know if someone comes into my house and disrespects me, that I can take matters into my own hands.
2. If you show up to the party with any 4-cylinder car, and you are a man, you can turn right around and go back home. I don't want nobody watching the game with me that drives a little Geo Neo, Kia Mia, or whatever they are called.
3. No vegetables (except for french fries). I know it ain't healthy, but come on this is the Super Bowl. If you bring anything but meat, chips, or drinks, go ahead and save it for your next Sunday School party.
4. Keep firecrackers nearby. You never really know when a relative or someone will show up shouting, "Junior just got into college!" and you need to celebrate.
5. Watch in a big room with multiple exits. I'll never forget the year that my cousins from the other side of town I never talk to came over and wanted to discuss why our family wasn't getting along like it once did. And that is just one scenario, there are so many other things that could happen, so you always need a way out just in case.
6. No talking after the first quarter. I get sick and tired of trying to watch the Super Bowl and discuss rising gas prices with my neighbors with 2 minutes left in the game. So about three years ago I decided to set some standards. If you got something stupid to talk about, do it in the first quarter. Go ahead let it all out. But once the 2nd quarter starts, all I want to hear is 'Good play' or 'Go team'. And grunting is OK too.
7. Have fun. Now don't get all crazy on me and threaten me...this is just how I watch my games at my house, and you are free to watch however you want. But I want everyone to enjoy themselves. We are all mountain folk and live simply, so lets not have no one shot or injured because you lost some stupid bet. Ever since we had a tussle at a party about 5 years ago, I made it a rule that everybody had to hug everybody when they were leaving. That way we all leave in a good mood....and that is what the Super Bowl is all about.
Now leave me some comments and tell me some of your Super Bowl rules and traditions.
-Mike Lanter
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